


Alone in the Townhouse (NSFW)

by Rhysand_vs_Rowan



Category: A Court of Thorns and Roses Series - Sarah J. Maas
Genre: F/M, First Time, NSFW, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-01
Updated: 2017-07-01
Packaged: 2018-11-21 19:37:26
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,877
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11364225
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rhysand_vs_Rowan/pseuds/Rhysand_vs_Rowan
Summary: When the Court of Nightmares visits Velaris, Nesta and Cassian plot to take advantage of their time alone and finally take things to the next level.





	Alone in the Townhouse (NSFW)

**Author's Note:**

> WARNING: CONTAINS ACOWAR SPOILERS
> 
> Thank you to Feyre-Archerons-Scrapbook.tumblr.com for beta-reading!!!

_**Alone in the Townhouse** _

 

_Where has that girl gone?_

“Elain?” Nesta checked her sister’s room, the back garden, the kitchen, and the sitting room. She’d been looking for her sister for half an hour- and the townhouse wasn’t nearly big enough to lose a  _person_  in.

“Azriel and Rhysand just flew her and Lucien up to the House of Wind.” Feyre called from the dining room.

Nesta went to her sister, but hesitated at the threshold. Feyre wasn’t wearing her usual morning training clothes, she was in a soft yellow tunic with panels of leather armor across her arms, stomach, and back, “Are you expecting to get into a fight today?” Her Illyrian blades were sitting in the chair beside her.

Feyre snorted as she took a big bite of toast with jam, “Full leathers are uncomfortable and would make my people edgy. It’s going to be a long enough three days without roasting in full armor…”

Three days? Nesta frowned, what could she possibly- “The Court of Nightmares visit? That’s  _this_  week?” her heart skipped a beat.

Three days every month, that was the deal Kier and Rhysand settled on. His price for the use of the Darkbringer legions in the war with Hybern. A few dozen members of the Court of Nightmares would descend upon Velaris beginning at sunset.

“I thought that started  _next_  week,” she must have lost count as she played chaperone to the newly returned Lucien and Elain. He was courting her in earnest now and Nesta had not quite decided if he was worthy of the middle Archeron.

“Oh, well should I tell Kier to wait until you’re ready?” A teasing voice behind her made Nesta half wish she had one of Feyre’s swords. She glared as Cassian slipped past her into the dining room.  _He_ wore full Illyrian fighting leathers, every syphon on display for the world to see and fear. Velaris was the heart of the Court of Dreams- but even so he would be a stark reminder that a City of Starlight was the preferred home of the Lord of Bloodshed.

She schooled her face into bland distaste, “Why are you here, bat?”

“I live here.” He grinned and grabbed a scone from the table.

“No you don’t.”

Feyre considered it, then shrugged, “He sort of  _does_. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a day where you weren’t here.”

“And the house is better for it.” He smiled to his High Lady.

“Debatable,” Rhysand stepped around Nesta and went to his seat beside Feyre. She looked behind her to see if anyone else from the Inner Circle would be making an appearance.

“You didn’t answer my question.”

Cassian rolled his eyes, “During the visit, I get to babysit  _you_.” He made a face, “Like a child. A defenseless, small  _child_  who doesn’t know how to fight yet.”

She carefully blended surprise with contempt, “I don’t need a keeper- and I’ll train with Azriel before I willingly spend time with  _you_.”

“You two go on an awful lot of walks together,” Rhys said. He was watching the two with that same mischievous glint in his eye that Feyre bore. Whatever they were saying into one another’s minds, she feigned a cough to hide her laugh.

“We aren’t going on walks  _together_ -“ Nesta jerked her chin in Cassian’s direction, “that one just keeps appearing and ruining mine.”

“Semantics,” Cassian batted his eyelashes.

Not  _all_  of her glares were feigned.

“What Cassian was so  _kindly_  saying,” Feyre cut in before another argument could start, “was that he’s guarding  _the house_. Elain and Lucien are planting a garden up the House of Wind where they will be  _perfectly_  safe, Rhys and Azriel will be following the worst of the Court to make sure they don’t start trouble when Velaris closes its doors to them, and I will be guarding the Rainbow. Mor’s home is at the border and if Kier manages to track her scent there I will keep him from standing outside her house for three days to torment her.” Feyre’s eyes told them that she was hoping Kier tried just that.

“Mor shouldn’t stay in her home,” Nesta said quickly, “she could come here, that frees up the idiot to watch Kier.” Cassian huffed. Strictly speaking, Nesta was not overly fond of Mor, but she was trying to change that. Mor seemed genuinely kind, her personality was just too loud. She was more suited to Feyre than Nesta anyways. Besides, even if it was centuries ago something in that Fae part of her snarled at the female who  _dared_  touch her-

“Mor will be staying with Amren during the first visit,” Rhysand crossed his arms. This was an argument he had only  _recently_ concluded with the female in question, “Kier will have something planned to push her limits, and until we know for sure that the human queens aren’t planning on continuing Hybern’s war, I cannot allow Mor to kill her father. No matter how tempting he makes it. The Darkbringer legions might still come in handy.”

Feyre put a hand on Rhysand’s arm and rested her head on his shoulder until the hard glint in his eyes softened. He kissed her forehead and took a deep breath, “Azriel spread word through the city- if anyone from the Court of Nightmares asks about Mor, they’ll be directed  _here_ , far from her house. Her scent is all over this city and- as you reminded us Cassian- my Court just about lives here. Their scents are  _everywhere_.” He pulled a face that had Cassian rolling his eyes.

“They can’t get through the door, this house is perfectly safe,” Feyre assured her sister, “but I’m not leaving you alone during this. Besides- if there are any issues this is a good location for him to be. Cassian can guard this entire section of the city  _and_  get to the House of Wind faster than any would-be visitors. We don’t anticipate anyone coming close enough to cause concern, but just in case Kier has something planned, you will be safe here with him.”

“And this visit shouldn’t mean you are trapped in a prison. If you want to go out, Cassian can keep a  _discrete_  distance. The Court of Nightmares will remember you well, Nesta. Until you have better control over your magic I would prefer if you didn’t unleash that power of yours in the middle of Velaris.” Rhys said.

Nesta’s lip curled as she looked at Cassian, “But why does it have to be  _him_?”

“We drew straws,” he huffed, “Azriel cheated.”

Rhys snorted and dug into his breakfast, “You’re the idiot who forgot when this visit was.” He looked up at Nesta for a moment, “Don’t let him give you too much shit about not knowing it was this week- he was the exact same way yesterday.”

Cassian shot a glare at Rhysand and snatched a handful of bacon directly off his High Lord’s plate. Feyre slid expertly out of the way as her mate jumped up with a snarl and swiped at his friend. Cassian only stuck his tongue out and shoved the entire handful into his mouth. He avoided the talons aimed at his throat and ran past Nesta.

She rolled her eyes and left Feyre to convince Rhysand to  _not_  seek vengeance for his missing food. Three days with Cassian in close quarters. Perfect.

Nesta paced in the garden until a massive shadow blocked out most of the sunlight. She glared up at Cassian on the roof, sunning his wings a bit  _too_  conspicuously. He grinned at her with that teasing smile of his and she resisted throwing a stone up at his face.

She went in to the sitting room and concentrated on looking interested in her book while Feyre and Rhysand finished breakfast and got ready to take up their positions.

The High Lord and Lady of Night would spend their day going through the city to give final instructions to the guard and reassure shopkeepers. Azriel would be arranging his own people around those places Mor frequented the most- just in case her scent drew unwanted attention. The Inner Circle lived in Velaris for more than five hundred years, there was nothing its citizens would not do for Rhysand. They would tell any lie and take up whatever arms necessary to keep their Morrigan from her cruel father. The worst Kier could do was stare at her from across the street- but if they could keep even that from happening, they would.

“Are you going to be alright?” Feyre stopped by the sitting room with Rhys at her back, evidently recovered from the traumatic theft at breakfast.

“Of course I will,” once upon a time, Nesta’s reply would have been laced with ice. Now she used the same soft tone with both of her sisters. She still felt shame whenever she thought back on how she’d treated little Feyre, and she was determined to not add any more guilt to that heap, “How dangerous will this be for you? Be honest.”

“Not dangerous at all,” Rhys assured her. He rested his head on Feyre’s shoulder and held her tight, “I swear to you on my life.”

“Your lives are joined now,” Nesta eyed the swirls of ink on his hand, “don’t forget that.”

Feyre smiled brightly, “And  _that_  is how I got him to stop sacrificing himself for every little thing.”

“Repairing the cauldron wasn’t ‘ _little_ ’ it was ‘ _mighty_ ’ and ‘ _heroic_ ’. That’s what the poets are going to say.” Rhys grumbled.

Feyre just laughed.  “This entire visit is about them making things difficult for Mor. That’s why we’re on edge- there is no risk to anyone. Still, we won’t invite trouble by pretending we’re alright with this.” she said, “I will see you in three days.”

“See you in three days,” Nesta echoed and forced a smile, even though nerves churned in her stomach. Nerves that had nothing to do with Kier and the Court of Nightmares.

Feyre and Rhys headed upstairs to give final orders to Cassian before flying off to wherever they had to go. Nesta held her breath until she saw twin flashes of shadow in the windows- winged Fae taking flight.

Lies- every word out of her mouth, every glare and snarl- they’d all been lies… She swallowed hard and struggled to keep her mask in place. They  _both_  had to keep their masks in place for now.

She tried, but it was impossible to focus on the book. Nesta tapped her toes impatiently, forcing herself to read the words, but it was no use. Every creak or whisper of wind against the glass made her start. Was it a bad plan? Of course it was. Was there a better one?

Not unless they wanted all those busybodies to know.

After two hours (or, as the clock in the hall claimed, twenty minutes), Nesta gave up on the book. She stormed out of the library and went to her bedroom to change into- change into what? She hadn’t done anything to warrant a change in clothes. Still, it felt like the right thing to do.

Of course, if she was changing Nesta supposed she might as well bathe to wash off a morning’s worth of-

… a morning’s worth of-

Still, it felt like the right thing to do.

Plus, it would take longer than her failed attempt at reading.

Nesta’s tastes were simple, and her bedroom reflected that. A tall wardrobe held plain gowns for daily wear, the vanity was organized based on how she typically fashioned her hair, the wide bed was freshly made in a deep navy comforter with creamy white bedsheets, and a vase of white hydrangeas- courtesy of Elain- occupied her bedside table.

So when she saw the small green bottle sitting beside the flowers, she knew exactly where it came from.

Her face flushed bright red and Nesta seriously considered taking that bottle straight up to the roof and cramming it down-

She took a deep breath.

Then another.

 _You asked him to get it_. She reminded herself.  _You told the prick to be_ subtle _, but you did ask him to get it._

She snatched the bottle up and shoved it down the neck of her dress so that it was hidden between her breasts. Nesta shifted her bodice ever so slightly so that the contours of the bottle vanished entirely. If Feyre happened to wander in, she would be none the wiser.

 _I should call this whole thing off,_  Nesta thought, even as she walked to the bathroom door,  _it’s too risky, especially knowing how stupid he is._  She stomped over to the sunken tub and turned on the faucet,  _He would probably tell half of Velaris inside three days, if he hasn’t already._  She locked the doors to both her and Elain’s bedrooms.  _It was a stupid plan to begin with. This whole thing is ridiculous._  She removed her dress and laid it across the bottom of Elain’s door so that no one could peek under it.  _He’s a brute and he always has been. I’m too good for his damned pawing_. Nesta pulled the bottle out of her cleavage and set it beside the tub while she stripped away her underclothes and barricaded her own door with them.

She took longer to bathe than normal, and glared at that bottle all the while. The arrogance of that  _bastard_ , the audacity to enter her room uninvited and just leave it out there for anyone to wander in and see-

 _Yeah, because this house is so full of Fae just itching to go through your bedchamber._  She could hear Cassian’s reply as if he were beside her. She even felt the eye roll. The prick was doubtlessly sunning himself on the roof, but she could imagine him easily enough to hold that mock argument as she scrubbed absolutely nothing from her skin.

_What if Feyre came back? What if she forgot something and came back to the townhouse, and-_

_And what?_   _Stopped and said ‘You know what I need to do? Go through Nesta’s room. What’s this little bottle? I should drink some. OH MY GOD, THE SHAMELESS HUSSY!’_  Cassian was exactly the type of prick who’d use the word ‘hussy’. Nesta hated that she knew him well enough to imagine even that.

_I told you to be subtle!_

_What’s not subtle about that?! It was in a closed bedroom that I know for a fact only you go in._

_How could you_ possibly  _know who goes in my room?!_ Nesta glared at the wall.

_Because with the exception of you Archerons and Lucien, I’ve known everyone in this house for 500 years. Lucien is too scared of you to ever wander into your room. PLUS HE’S NOT HERE._

She knew the way Cassian’s brow would knot in frustration at her. The way he’d roll his eyes at her rage.  _I asked you to be subtle, if that’s too difficult-_

 _What else was I supposed to do? Tell me. I stole it from Mor’s apartment when Az and I were hiding her scent yesterday. I poured it into a new container that is completely unlabeled and slipped it into your room where you could find it_ but also _where I knew no one would look. How can I be more subtle than that?_

Nesta hated that pretend-Cassian was starting to make her feel like an idiot.  _I hate you._

 _No you don’t,_  his smirk would be enough to make her blood boil,  _Nes, it’s alright to be nervous about-_

She ground her teeth and threw the washcloth across the massive tub. Rhys had taken to tweaking things around the townhouse in response to his and Feyre’s frankly grating tendency to make eye contact and immediately need an hour (or more) alone. Walls were reinforced, rooms were sound-proofed, and every bathroom was expanded when he widened his own tub for two. Nesta hadn’t minded bathing in a small lake, but so long as that Illyrian bastard on the roof kept flashing through her mind it only felt… empty.

 _I can help with that._  Nesta imagined his voice whispering against her ear, an apologetic nuzzle to soothe her rage. She crossed her arms and glared at the washcloth floating somewhere just beneath the surface.  _Just think about what we could get up to in a tub like this._

Without really meaning to, Nests caressed one arm with the other, imagining only briefly it was Cassian’s warm, calloused palm against her skin.  _What did you have in mind, bat?_

It would help take the edge off, she decided. She slid down further into the water and closed her eyes. Nesta relaxed and let ‘Cassian’s’ hand stroke her forearm, drifting over slowly towards her breast. She imagined that prick was behind her, that she was leaning not against a warm tub, but his broad, muscled chest.

She pictured him brushing his lips along her neck as his thumb at last traced a light circle around her nipple. His other hand would lightly brush the skin along her thigh. He wouldn’t tease her- not in her own fantasy. No, his rough, strong hand would slide between her legs. She would open for him, and he would slide a finger through her folds once, twice, three times before slipping into her.

Nesta arched her back at the pressure of that finger sliding up into her, she bit her lip and thought of that dark chuckle it would draw from him. He would pinch her peaked nipple as that finger stroked her core and mutter something about how sensitive she was. Panting, Nesta would open her legs a little wider, encouraging him to slip in a second finger.

As he did, she would teach him a thing or two about sensitivity. One of  _her_  hands would reach back over their shoulders to trace the membrane of his wing while she took his hard length in the other. Cassian would hiss, resting his teeth against her neck at the warring sensations of her hands on him. His fingers would freeze inside her, but after a whimper and a few helpful rolls of her hips, he would begin to move again in time with her.

They would be in no hurry, and once they found their rhythm they would coax moans and gasps from one another in turn. She would brush her thumb across the head of his cock and stroke the top edge of his wing to make him hiss. He would curve his fingers inside her and stroke that hidden place that overrode even the knot his thumb flicked at the apex of her thighs.

That sharp-edged need for release would build slowly, spreading from their cores. Her hands upon his wing and cock would tighten, giving him a silent command.

Cassian would dive his fingers into her harder. The hand upon her breast would drift down to play with the bundle of nerves between her legs far more deftly than his thumb. Her moans would become something more primal as she kept pace with his intensity. Both would begin to pump their hips forward as that sharp edge became a pressure that built with every stroke. His wings would curve around them as their worlds became nothing more than the feeling of the other, as their muscles began to strain towards those points of contact.

 Her own pleasure would be building, nearly to the point of no return. Lightning would rumble beneath her skin, radiating from Cassian’s hand moving in and out of her so hard the water of the tub would slosh at her throat. She would begin to stiffen, thrusting her hips forward and arching against his chest as he growled and bit down on her shoulder, fighting that tension in his own body.

When those wings curved around she would wait until it was close enough- until she felt his muscles tighten and his moans turned into soft cries. Nesta would see her chance and take it.  She would throw herself forward, the movement would force his thumb to hit her nerves  _hard_  and she would wrap her lips around the base of one of those wicked obsidian claws on his wing and began to suck at the muscle.

 _Shit!_  He would shout as that sensation shoved him over the edge hard and fast. Cassian’s strangled cry as he came in her hand would be joined soon enough by Nesta’s. She would throw herself back against him as the rising waves broke free and her entire body seem to pull towards his fingers. He would keep pumping frantically- if a bit irregularly- as she cried out and erupted in a shaking, shuddering orgasm of her own.

Nesta didn’t pull her fingers from herself until the wave of pleasure had swept past. She gave a few final strokes to the nerve between her legs and let her body tell her when it was finished.

 _Cassian wouldn’t know what hit him._  She smiled slightly and opened her eyes. That green bottle caught her attention and Nesta slid over to it. She stared at the potion for a long while, letting wicked thoughts swirl through her mind.

Nesta smiled slightly and drifted to the far side of the tub to collect her washcloth. Fae- and Illyrian- smell being what it was, she would need to wash again to hide the scent of her arousal. Somehow that imaginary argument- and the fantasy that followed- made her feel better.

She stayed in the tub until the water cooled, then took her sweet time toweling dry and brushing out her long hair. Her dress and underclothes she deposited in a clothesbin before collecting the green bottle and strolling into her room utterly naked. If Cassian wandered in for some reason she would taunt him with an eyeful. Nesta decided to give him  _ample_  time to make that imagined appearance.

Opting for simplicity, she braided her hair back and tied it off to fall in a single plait. She took great care with the style, re-doing it a few times to make sure it was  _perfect_. The fact that her arms above her head as she worked put her breasts and slim hips on full display only crossed her mind once or twice. When Cassian had the  _nerve_  to not appear, she finally tied it off and went to pick out her clothes.

She selected a slightly undersized bodice that sat just beneath her breasts and sheer underpinnings to emphasize her legs. The navy dress she slipped on was short sleeved with a daringly low neckline. Silver lace formed a higher collar that offset the risqué cut of the gown and assured Cassian would see the curve of her breasts over the bodice but not get more than a tantalizing peek through that lace.

It would be his punishment for the bottle on her nightstand.

Nesta admired herself in the mirror of her room, feeling wicked. Before she went back out to the main house she picked up the offending green bottle and downed the contents without hesitation.

“Have a nice bath?” Cassian was in the sitting room idly toying with one of his swords. He was still in full Illyrian battle-armor, but he looked… different. His hair was still partially tied back with a leather cord, but it looked cleaner, and he smelled less like Cassian and more like jasmine and citrus- Rhysand and Feyre’s scents.

“I should ask you the same thing.” Nesta very nearly blushed at the way his eyes slid over her body- with just as much interest as she’d intended.

“I was up at dawn training Feyre, then Mor and Amren wanted to spar off some extra energy before tonight. If I’m stuck house-sitting, I figured I might as well be clean.

“Rhys won’t like to hear you used his bathroom- and Feyre might object to the theft of her shampoo.” Nesta smirked.

“Well  _someone_  was taking their sweet time in the other bathroom.” Cassian set his sword down and stood. He prowled over to Nesta until they were nearly nose-to-nose.

They’d both been in the bath at the same time. The shadow of a thought whispered through her mind- a thought to embarrassing, too horrible to give form. Nesta felt a tendril of fear lash out at her from that unknown creature and she bristled, stepping away from Cassian before his cinnamon scent could overwhelm her, “You’re too early. The visit doesn’t start until eight.”

“That’s right. Eight o’clock. On the dot.” His grin made it a bit  _too_ obvious where his thoughts lay.

Someone down the street barked a laugh so loudly that Nesta started. Her heart pounded in her chest and even Cassian wiped the smile off of his face and replaced it with something bland and bored, “You are dismissed, Cassian.” She said hurriedly. He left the room within a second.

Ten minutes passed, then twenty, then thirty. Whatever male that laugh belonged to, it was not Rhysand or Azriel coming back for any reason. Nesta’s palms were sweaty with nerves until her brain convinced her heart no one had heard her and Cassian’s conversations- or smelled the musky scent that was rolling from  _both_ of them.

Still, it unsettled Nesta, and she made a point of staying  _far_  from Cassian the rest of the afternoon. She even waited until she’d heard him leave the kitchen after dinner before daring to enter. The prick left her a heaping plate of some Illyrian dish that made her tongue sizzle, but it was clearly homemade and exceptionally good. The last part she made a silent oath to not admit unless under extreme duress.

Every tick of the clock wound Nesta’s nerves further.  _Soon, soon, soon_ , it seemed to say. The bath- and getting herself ready after- seemed to be ages ago, but it did such a good job of wasting time that she was tempted to have another go.

After what felt like days, far off in the city a bell began to chime. The clock in the hall echoed its peals and even though Nesta knew all too well what time it was, she found herself counting along just to be sure.

“Eight o’clock on the dot.” Cassian’s voice was rough. He spoke as soon as that last bell sounded, “The visit begins.” Nesta stood and turned to face him with shaking hands. He marked them and when his eyes met hers, there was no burning intensity, no heat or lust, only something soft and gentle, “It’s your choice. You will live for centuries, millennia even. This doesn’t have to happen now. Remember that.”

“I know,” Nesta breathed. “I also remember how long these last two years have been- since even before Feyre was dragged to Prythian- and how much I lost. I want this. I  _choose_  this. Now.”

He nodded and came to her. With every step, whatever shield he kept over his thoughts slipped away. His eyes filled with that missing desire, but he kept it in check, “I’m hoping this doesn’t come back to bite me later, but know that no matter what, no matter  _when_ , if you tell me to stop I will. It is  _never_  too late. Ever.”

Nesta chewed her lip, “You’re sure this won’t- the mating bond- this won’t make it permanent?”

“It won’t.”

“Because  _you_  made dinner for  _me_?” she teased him to hide her nerves.

He threw his head back and laughed, “ _Cauldron_ , Nesta! I hate to break it to you, but it takes more than a bite of food and sex to seal a mating bond. It won’t activate until we  _choose_  to activate it. Food is just food. It’s symbolic, nothing more. Sex-“ he grinned at the way that word made her blush, “ _sex_  can just be sex.”

She looked down and swallowed hard, “I’m not ready to be more than this. Not yet. I’m sorry.” Nesta took a deep breath and met Cassian’s gaze once more.

To her surprise, he didn’t look disappointed or upset in any way. He took Nesta’s hand and lifted it to his lips. Her entire body leaned in towards his touch as he brushed her against his mouth and breathed in her scent, “I am closer to six hundred years old than five. You are twenty three. You don’t need to apologize for anything, I understand.”

Nesta bit back her smile as best she could and put her other hand on the scales of Cassian’s armored chest, “Show me then- what you learned in ‘ _closer to six hundred years than five_ ’.” Her heart was pounding audibly, but her mind was made up. She wanted this. More importantly- she wanted  _him_. Even if they didn’t choose to accept the bond in the end, she wanted Cassian to be her first. If he hadn’t almost been killed in battle, she would have taken him in her bloodlust the evening after she killed Hybern. If it weren’t for his  _penchant_  to nearly die in battle, she would have had him a  _few_  times during that war.

Now though- now it was time.

“Shall we go to the bedroom?” Cassian said, stepping closer.

Nesta nodded and he gave a soft kiss to the hand at his lips before leading her out of the sitting room. Nerves warred with desire as they made their way through the townhouse. She wanted Cassian- and had longer than she would admit to but- he had  _centuries_  of experience. What if she did something wrong? What if she moved too much or too little? What if he didn’t like her body?

“I know what that look means, and whatever you’re worried about me thinking, I promise you it won’t be an issue.” Cassian’s voice was hoarse as he opened her bedroom door and escorted Nesta inside.

Once it clicked shut behind them, her nerves ramped up even further. Cassian locked the door- not to close them in, but because he knew Nesta was half a breath from asking him to put the wardrobe in front of at least one door in the room, just to be  _extra_  sure they weren’t disturbed. Or discovered.

“Do you want this now? Truly?” He turned back to her and read Nesta’s eyes like a general assessing the condition of a soldier.

“I’m nervous,” she admitted, “but I want this. I don’t want to wait for next month or however long it takes for us to get the time and privacy we need.”

“Alright,” Cassian whispered and slid closer to her until mere inches separated them, “I’ve been wanting to do this  _properly_  since Hybern.” He stroked Nesta’s cheek with a hand while the other wrapped around her. When Hybern broke his wings- the second time- and she shielded his body with hers, Cassian had barely managed the strength to brush his lips against Nesta’s. Now, safe and whole and healed, he cupped her face in his palm and brought his mouth to hers.

At that first touch of Cassian’s lips, Nesta’s body was engulfed. She pressed against him and let his scent crash over her, opened her mouth and let his taste fill her. Her hands found their way into his thick brown hair and she held his head as tightly as he held hers. Cassian’s wings wrapped around them, nearly knocking Elain’s hydrangeas off the side table.

The heat of his wings vanished and Cassian turned to pin Nesta against the wall. Her hands scraped along the scales of his armor as their kiss deepened. He pulled back from the kiss and they panted, dizzy. Cassian’s hands shook as he tapped his syphons to remove the armor. They vanished from sight, but Nesta knew better than to think he was unarmed for even a second.

Beneath the armor Cassian wore a loose gray shirt and leather breeches. Nesta hooked her fingers through the band of his pants and pulled him close. Cassian’s hand rested against her side as the other slid the tie from her hair.

Then he was upon her once more.

Nesta quickly pulled his shirt up so that her hands could slide beneath it. She clung to the hard muscles of his back as his fingers worked her hair out of the braid, filling the room with her own scent as well. A pulse began in Nesta’s core and she pressed her hips against Cassian’s. He moaned at the contact and pulled her from the wall towards the bed.

“Are you sure?” Cassian panted.

“Yes,” Nesta yanked at his shirt and he quickly slid it off, releasing whatever panels wrapped around the base of his wings.

Cassian forced himself to go slowly as their kiss resumed. His hands found the hidden clasps in the lace of her dress and he opened them one by one, stroking the inside of her lips with his tongue before releasing each. Nesta wanted  _out_  of the dress, but when she reached up to rip the damned thing off, he caught her hands and returned them to his hips.

 _Fine_ , Nesta thought. Her entire body ached with desire, and she knew his did too. Something iron-hard that pressed against her  _told_ her just how badly he wanted her.

Once, after a few too many glasses of wine when the boys were off doing  _Cauldron_  knows what, Feyre admitted that Rhys liked to tease her when they made love. When he did that, when she was  _done_ playing around, she would whisper something to him or stroke his body in a way she  _knew_  would snap any and all control he had over himself.

While Cassian continued to taunt Nesta with his agonizingly slow hands, she slid her own around to his back and down into his pants. He groaned into her mouth as she ran her fingers over the hard curve of his ass and began to sway her hips. She felt his cock harden even more against her and managed to smirk as they kissed.

“Demon.” Cassian whispered with a laugh. His left hand vanished from Nesta’s collar and he put it boldly between her legs. Through the fabric of her dress and underclothes, Cassian pressed his middle finger along the junction of her thighs. He pushed against her in long, rocking strokes while Nesta gasped. Her hands pulled back from his trousers and grabbed his forearms. “Do you like that?” His other hand flicked a peaked nipple and his mouth found her neck.

“ _Yes!_ ” Nesta threw her head back and began to roll her hips in time with his touch. Her toes curled and she wanted nothing more than for him to pick her up and take her hard and fast  _right there_. As his finger raked across her core her blood boiled in her veins. Pleasure flashed through her body with every stroke. Her world narrowed to the feeling of his tongue in her mouth, the hard scrape of fabric across her core, and the way his hand teased her nipples through her dress.

Cassian matched the rolling of her hips with the thrusts of his hand and stoked Nesta’s fire hotter and hotter, until she was holding onto him for support. He continued to bite and lick at her neck while she moaned. When her hips began to slow and her moans turned into high-pitched gasps-

\- he pulled away.

His eyes were molten and burned with desire, but a spark of mischief lit them when Nesta whimpered, “Not yet.” He stepped towards her once more and slowly pulled the lace of her dress open, then slid the collar down to expose her breasts. Cassian licked his lips and bent down to take one of those stiff, red nipples into his mouth.

“Stop.” Nesta barely forced the word out. Cassian obeyed instantly- as promised- with his mouth a mere inch from her. She resisted the urge to arch her back and hold his head against it until he made her scream his name. When he straightened, she choked back her moan.

“Are you alright?” Concern lit his eyes.

“Stay exactly like that.” She reached between them and undid the clasp on his breeches. Cassian smiled as Nesta pulled his pants down. He kicked his shoes off into a corner and helped her relieve him of all clothing.

“ _Shit!”_ Cassian barked. He thought Nesta was just interested in getting him naked, but she took his cock in hand and immediately engulfed the head with her mouth. He slammed one hand into the wall while she cupped his balls and used his other hand to push her hair back. Nesta took as much of him as she could and took pride in his continued cursing as she curled her tongue to trace along the underside of his member. She bobbed her head and massaged his balls while Cassian watched, transfixed by the sight of his mate on her knees before him and the way her breasts swayed as she took him in her mouth.

A thought slipped through the haze of pleasure in Cassian’s mind. What if Nesta decided she didn’t want to acknowledge their mating bond? What if he went through that same hell Rhys had when he thought Feyre would marry Tamlin? When Lucien thought Elain had set her sights on Azriel? As was becoming tradition with the Night Court and those inside it, Cassian knew he would respect whatever decision his mate made, but tonight- if this was the only night Nesta deigned to spend with him- he wasn’t going to waste a second.

Cassian’s eyes bore down on her as he memorized every hair on her head, the way her mouth moved along his length, the color of her lips, the way her cheeks hollowed whenever she pulled back, the swaying of those generous breasts. He was going to memorize a hell of a lot more, but it was a start. He stopped using the hand on her head for leverage and instead focused on the feeling of her hair between his fingers and the scent of sandalwood that she gave off. His mouth went dry with the need to taste her again.

“What?” Nesta hadn’t missed the change in Cassian’s mood. There was an intensity that made her heart hammer wildly in her chest, and even small thrill of fear that slithered up her spine.

“I want to taste you.” He whispered and put a hand under her chin. Nesta began to stroke him as she stood and opened her mouth for him. Cassian crushed his lips to hers and their passionate kiss resumed… But now it wasn’t enough.

Nesta felt that white-hot need raking through him, either from the ignored mating bond or her own passions. His hands were near frantic as he yanked the dress up and over her head. Before Cassian had even thrown it aside, Nesta was already pulling at the ties and stays of her underclothes. He reached out with both hands and froze, shaking. He couldn’t force his desire down far enough- if he touched the fabric he knew he would  _rip_  it off her.

He knew that when she was human a man tried to force himself on her once. She wouldn’t give him a name, knowing  _precisely_  what sort of fate awaited the boy. Cassian was  _determined_  to stomp down those memories the same way Feyre had Rhysand’s memories of Amarantha. If Nesta allowed, there would be time another day for rough, clothes-ripping sex. He was determined to be gallant and gentle their first time.

As soon as she dropped the bodice, Cassian grabbed her. Her tongue slipped into his mouth as he lifted her off the ground. Nesta hooked her legs around his hips and again, most of his control went to  _not_  shredding her underwear and taking her against the wall. He knelt on the bed and crawled across it with the female he loved in his arms. Her breasts were pressed against his chest and through them he felt her heart racing.

Cassian  _ached_  to be inside Nesta- no more so than when she adjusted her grip and accidentally grabbed a ridge of muscle in his left wing. He cried out at the sudden pleasure and dug his fingers into her back.

“What did I do?” she broke their kiss immediately, “Are you alright?” her eyes were wide with fear.

“Has anyone told you… how sensitive our wings are?” Cassian only spoke when he was sure he’d survived the sensation without climaxing then and there.

“What?” Nesta looked at those mighty wings in a new light, “I thought it was like having another arm.”

“We have to feel wind currents and changes in temperature with them,” he chuckled, “so no, it’s a bit more sensitive than an arm.”

She knew he was teasing her, but she couldn’t tell if she had hurt him. The bat was obnoxiously hard to read sometimes, “I’m sorry?” embarrassment added an extra layer of blush to her cheeks.

“It didn’t hurt,” Cassian leaned over and laid Nesta across the comforter. He unhooked her legs from his hips and slid his hands to her thighs, “It felt like this.” She cried out as that middle finger caressed the knot at her center- this time through just a single layer of very thin fabric. Cassian almost lost control of himself at the heat and moisture he felt. Every inch of the Illyrian was screaming, telling him his female was primed and ready. No inches were screaming louder than those Nesta had just wrapped her mouth around so brazenly.

“That’s not so bad,” Nesta said. She was panting already, “show me again, and give me a wing to play with. It’s only fair.”

Cassian grinned. He kissed her again, this time a bit softer. When her tongue tried to slip into his mouth once more, he pulled back and began to suck at her neck. Nesta arched her back and- finally- Cassian’s lips trailed down towards her breasts. He licked between them, nipped at the sensitive skin on the underside, then traced his tongue up towards her nipple. She clawed at the sheets when his mouth closed over her breast at last. The pounding between her legs demanded attention, but now it warred with the pleasure radiating out from his hot, wet mouth. Cassian bit and sucked at her breast while she moaned. He kept her hips pinned beneath the weight of his, not affording her so much as the ability to grind against his hard cock and send herself over the edge.

By the time he’d finished with her breast, Nesta was whimpering with need. Moisture dripped from her, filling the room with her intoxicating scent. Cassian shifted his weight and began to move his mouth down her torso. He licked and sucked at her ribs, her stomach, and then bit just above the line of her underwear. She propped herself up to watch him.

He pulled her knees up and held her ankles in hand, exposing her to him. Cassian’s mouth found the inside of her thighs. Nesta pushed her hips up, a silent plea. He rested his mouth over her sex and pushed his tongue in as far as the fabric would allow. Nesta cried out and grabbed at her own breasts as that tongue slid up the front of her underwear, raking her core.

Cassian’s demonic grin returned and he released her ankles. He grabbed the front of her panties in hand and gave it a few sharp jerks up- forcing the fabric to split her center and press against her knot. Nesta groaned.

“Remind me to pick up something for you at the lace shop,” Cassian lifted her hips and slid that final, flimsy piece of fabric up her legs, “they sell a pair of these with a line of pearls along the middle. I think you’d enjoy it.” He held her underwear over his nose and breathed in his mate’s scent before tossing them away.

“Give me a wing first,” Nesta said. She smiled as he hooked her legs over his shoulders and lowered his mouth to her exposed mound.

Obediently, Cassian shifted slightly so that one of his wings was within easy reach of her hands and mouth. He traced an obsidian talon in a small loop around her nipple, but that took more concentration than he wanted to spare at the moment. Nesta brushed her fingers along a thin patch of membrane. Cassian’s cock twitched and he decided it was beyond time for him to memorize something new of Nesta’s- the taste of that heaven between her legs.

Nesta let out a wordless scream as Cassian’s tongue pressed against her knot and he began to trace a pattern over and around it. She pulled his wing to her mouth and he groaned as she wrapped her lips around the base of a talon, just as she’d done in her fantasy earlier. Cassian was almost too lost in her salty-sweet flavor to feel it-  _almost_.

The newly minted Fae woman was still unfamiliar with just  _how_ sensitive Illyrian wings were, and Cassian wasn’t about to let her finish him off first. He pushed his tongue into her and lapped up her juices one last time before returning to her knot to trace the pattern that made her whimper. While she sucked at his wing he slowly, gently slid his middle finger into her.

Nesta gasped at the pressure of just one large finger inside her. It was a wholly different sensation than when she stroked herself. When it was her hand, Nesta knew exactly how her fingers would move. With Cassian there was the thrill of the unknown, the feeling of something wholly foreign and yet desperately welcome. He slid his finger around inside of her, charting the new territory. When he began his pattern again, he pulled out and pushed a different finger in. That one only stayed long enough to be coated in Nesta’s moisture before Cassian returned his middle finger to the mix and eased both in.

Nesta thrust her hips up and gasped. Her eyes flew open at the ravaging wave that began to build with every long drag of his fingers or flick of his tongue. She grabbed his wing and worked it with tongue and hands as her hips bucked up to his mouth demanding  _more_.

“Are you sure you want this?” Cassian pulled his mouth away long enough to ask her one last time, “Are you absolutely sure?”

“ _Yes! Cauldron, yes!_ ” She took a hand off of his wing to press his head down harder, “ _If you stop I swear to the Mother-“_

Cassian’s fingers found the spot inside her where slick walls turned into something slightly ridged. The change in texture marked something he knew would send her flying over the same edge she was rapidly dragging him towards: the second, stronger knot of nerves all females possessed. Few males knew what to feel for, but Cassian had plenty of practice seeking it out.

The thrusts of his hand grew shorter as Cassian zeroed in on his target. Nesta shouted and clenched her thighs around his head. His cock twitched in response to her tight grip on his wing, but he forced the rising wave of pleasure down and focused on Nesta.

Nothing existed for her beyond the tongue pressed into her center, the pressure of those fingers raking through her core, and the simple knowledge that this was no mere male making her writhe and moan, it was her  _mate_.

Nesta’s hips strained against Cassian as he held her down firmly with his free hand. Her body began to stiffen, “ _Cassian!”_  she shouted his name and rocked her hips, riding his face. He responded with a hard, broad stroke of his tongue across her knot.

And just like that, Nesta was undone.

She screamed his name one last time as her release ripped through her. Cassian looked up and smiled even as he continued to trace that infuriatingly sensual pattern with his tongue and thrust hard with his hand. Those eyes- and the heady mix of pleasure and desire in them- made Nesta fall to her back and arch her breasts as she screamed again and thrust her hips up to his mouth. Even she couldn’t tell if it was one long orgasm that raked through her body or two.

Cassian continued to work her as she came, but he slowed his motions until she loosened her grip on his head and ran her fingers through his hair.

“ _Stop_ ,” she panted, “not  _stop-_ stop, just- give me a moment.” Her hips were still twitching when he pulled his fingers out and crawled slowly up the bed to lay beside her. Nesta’s breath hitched at the sight of his long, thick member.

“You can have as much of that as you want- in a bit.” Cassian smirked, “Well? How did I score against that hand you love so much?”

Nesta blinked.

“ _By the time I came of age, I was surrounded by low-born brutes and bastards. I’d rather use my own hand than sully myself with theirs_.” Cassian’s  _grating_  falsetto sounded absolutely nothing like Nesta’s voice, “You said that to me on our second meeting, and ever since then I’ve wanted to know how I would rate.”

“Hum…. I’d have to say a solid  _six_.” She smiled pleasantly.

“Is that  _your_  hand, or mine?” He propped up his head with one hand and idly traced his fingers across Nesta’s stomach, drifting lower and lower until it simply rested on her mound.

“Whatever you were doing with your tongue- that was almost worthy of a  _seven_.” Actually, he nearly knocked her out entirely with that tongue, but she wasn’t going to admit it.

He chuckled, “ _That_  was something I thought of in the heat of the moment.” Cassian stuck his tongue out and wiggled it around in the same pattern that made Nesta scream, “They say that every female likes it differently, you are supposed to go through the alphabet until you find which letter they like to feel traced across their-“ he slipped his middle finger between her folds and stroked her knot. Nesta gasped slightly and he softened his touch.

“And what letter did you think of?” She raised an eyebrow and reached over to take his cock in hand- if he was going to play dirty, so was she.

“ _Letters_.” He traced the pattern out again over her knot, “C-A-S-S-I-A-N.”

Nesta couldn’t decide if she wanted to laugh or give his member a very not-friendly tug, “ _Someone_  is full of themselves.”

Cassian laughed for her. The feel of his laughter against her side and the breath that tickled her ear snapped the leash she kept on her smile, “We’re mates. I figured it was a good place to start. Besides-“ he panted and slipped his middle finger inside her just to the first knuckle and slowly circled her opening, stretching her, “-if I’m not mistaken, you’re rubbing  _your_  name into the head of my cock.”

Nesta looked between them. Her thumb was indeed resting on the tip of his member and tracing the cross of a ‘t’, “I suppose I am. I wonder if I’ll need to spell mine so many times before you come.”

“Filthy mouth,” Cassian slid his arm beneath Nesta’s shoulders and propped her up against him. While that finger continued to circle- now with a bit more pressure- she tipped her head back and opened her mouth for his kiss. His whole body shivered at her touch. A breast rested against his chest as he covered Nesta’s mouth in his, “You  _won’t_ , by the way, and I’d prefer it if you stopped trying.” His hips were beginning to roll into her slow, gentle touch, “I’m saving it.”

“For what?” she teased. Nesta threw a leg over his to give his hand more access to the juncture of her thighs. She put her hand over his. Her heart was beginning to race again, and he knew precisely what she was asking for.

Cassian’s mocking smile vanished and he slid his finger from inside her, “Are you sure?”

“I’m sure.” She was nervous- maybe even scared- but not of him.  _Never_ of him. She’d been willing to cover his body with hers when Hybern came for the kill, if only so that she could die knowing she’d bought even a second more of life for her mate. She was scared of what she already felt when she looked into those hazel eyes. She was scared that if they took this next step and decided  _not_  to be mates, she would be left with a hole in her heart she could never fill. A single taste of Cassian- of what they could be together- had the power to wreck her as wholly as anything in this world or beyond…

But it was better than a life of wondering.

“Are you  _positive_?” he slowly shifted his body. The arm beneath her shoulders slid away as he rolled so that he was hovering over her.

“I’m positive.”

“Would you be more comfortable on top or-“

“Just do it,” Nesta  _needed_  to have him inside her, her body was aching for it. She didn’t trust her nerve if she were take command this first time, but she trusted Cassian without reserve.

Cassian reached between them and wrapped his hand around the one she still had on his cock. He leaned in and gave her a deep, hard kiss as together they guided it into place. Nesta groaned into his mouth when she felt the head beginning to push against her, “Let me do this-“ his jaw clenched and his entire body trembled with need.

Nesta took her hand off of him and spread her legs wider. He locked eyes with her and rolled his hips forward just far enough to slide the head inside.

She almost came then and there. Nesta’s back arched and she let out a moan at the feeling of even an inch of her mate connecting them. She tried to raise her own hips to take more of him, but Cassian quickly caught her with his guiding hand, “Let me do this,” he repeated.

Sweat dripped from his brow and Cassian bit his lip almost hard enough to draw blood. Inside his body, a full-scale war was being waged between the part of him that wanted desperately for this to be as pleasurable as possible for her and the part that wanted him to wrap both arms around her shoulders and slam into her as hard and fast as possible.

He slid the head nearly out of Nesta again and pushed forward once more- this time easing another half inch in. He didn’t take his eyes off of her while he fought the primal Illyrian down. Her eyes were a little wider than normal with fear of what was to come, but each time he pulled back and slid in she tried to take him deeper and let out a soft cry of pleasure.

When he was only a few inches in and his thrusts had become agonizingly slow and measured, Cassian felt the head of his cock press against something. Before she flinched away from him, he pulled out slightly, “There it is.”

“There it is,” she was breathless with fear and desire.

“Last chance to change your mind before anything permanent happens,” he smiled. “If you want to stop, it’s alright.”

“I swear Cassian, if you stop one more time-“ Nesta growled, “I think  _you’re_  more nervous than I am.”

He let out a deep, low laugh, “I  _am_  going to stop one more time, are you ready?”

She nodded. Cassian leaned down to kiss her neck and began to rock in and out- stopping before he touched that inner barrier. Without warning, he gave the Illyrian instincts some leash and thrust forward hard and fast.

Nesta felt something tear inside of her and she let out a hiss in anticipation of the pain that came a second later. As promised, Cassian froze as soon as he was through. A vicious sting pulsed through her core and she found herself digging her nails into Cassian’s chest and ass, both holding him in and pushing him away. His wings were wholly unfurled and just as still as the rest of him.

Her deep breaths abruptly broke into a nervous giggle. The pain was already fading and truth be told- it wasn’t nearly as bad as her nervous imagination had claimed it would be.

Cassian’s reflected smile was pure joy. He was inside his mate, she’d given him her maidenhead, and now she was laughing- the reverberations of which he could feel quite well in his cock, “Not so bad?”

She still felt some pain, but Cassian was right- it was nothing like what she was expecting.

“I’m going to make a vow to you,” Cassian waited as long as it took for Nesta’s hands to relax before he begin moving again. She winced slightly as another stinging wave washed over her, but with every thrust forward that pain was vanishing, “I Cassian, General of the Illyrian armies, Lord of Bloodshed, vow to be  _always_  a pain in your ass- but that was the last time I will ever intentionally cause you pain.”

Something welled up inside of Nesta and she took Cassian’s head in both of her hands and drew him into a kiss. He continued to slide in further and further, inch by inch. A kind of pleasure Nesta had never felt before washed away the last twinges of pain, and all the while she kept her mouth upon her mate’s until he was seated to the hilt.

It felt like their bodies were tailor-made for one another- which wasn’t an unreasonable assumption. He was hers- and she was his. His thick cock filled her as much as she could stand, and her heat gripped him as much as  _he_  could stand without bursting. The mixing of their bodies and the taste of one another as they kissed was more than Cassian had felt with any female before, and more than Nesta ever expected to feel with anyone.

Cassian released her hips and while she adjusted to the fullness of him, he ran a rough hand up the plain of her stomach to the silky curve of her breast. She stroked the base of his wings and the powerful, straining muscles of his back.

Nesta rolled her hips and goosebumps rose on her arms at the still-strange sensation of something moving inside of her. Nothing more than slight soreness marked the end of her virginity. Cassian responded to her small movement by pulling out of her and thrusting his entire length back in one mighty push. A high whimper was all she managed through their kiss.

She wrapped her legs around his hips and tried to pull him in harder, faster- but Cassian wasn’t having it. She felt his mouth tighten on hers to that trademark grin. He kept his pace forceful, but far too slow as he thrust. Pressure was quickly building back up inside of Nesta and Cassian knew that this time he couldn’t resist finding his own release- he was  _desperate_  for it.

“My wings,” he gasped through gritted teeth as he thrust, “if you keep touching them like that-“

Nesta panted as she stroked a narrow curve of membrane near where they connected, “Did you take the potion?” The green bottle Cassian had blatantly left on her nightstand- the contraceptive potion.

“ _Yes_ ,” Cassian moaned and thrust hard at her touch, “did you?”

“Yes,” she arched her back and cried out. Cassian was lightly tugging at her nipple. Nesta felt the muscles in his hips and ass tightening and something wicked woke inside her, “Stop.”

Cassian’s snarl was almost  _feral_ , but obediently he froze, “ _I knew that was going to bite me in the ass, demon_.” He barely managed to get the words out. Between his gasping breaths she heard a whimper.

“OK, start again.” It was as torturous for her as it was for him, but Nesta couldn’t resist. Cassian immediately began to move again- harder and faster than before.

“ _Please_  don’t do that again.” He was  _definitely_  whimpering between those gasping breaths. She felt the muscles in his ass and hips tighten, “ _I’m going to_ -“

“Stop.” He fell forward and sunk his teeth into the pillow beside her head with an angry roar, but his hips obediently froze, “Okay, that was the last time, I promise.”

“Damn right it was,” Cassian’s growl was guttural enough to send a shock of genuine fear through Nesta.

He wrapped his hands around her torso and quickly shoved her to the side. Cassian’s body followed hers and his wings curled around them. Nesta threw her head back and let out a cry of ecstasy as he slid in even deeper. His hands moved to shove her feet aside and before she knew it, Cassian was laying where she had been, wings fanned across the bed, and she was straddling his hips.

“I won’t tell you to stop,” he promised.

Nesta barked a laugh and pulled herself up before letting gravity thrust Cassian’s cock back in. Her movements were awkward as she used muscles she wasn’t entirely familiar with. He reached up to hold her swaying breasts as Nesta braced herself on his hard chest, but she stopped him with an exasperated look.

“Having trouble?” Cassian managed to rouse a lighter tone.

“Show me how.” She was panting, aching as much as he was, and yet it  _felt_  like she was doing something wrong. Cassian’s hands were on her hips in an instant. He didn’t mock her, didn’t tease her- they both needed release. As she lifted off of him, he helped pull her down and guided her hips into a long, sweeping roll that pushed him in deeper and ground her knot against the base of his shaft.

A sharp-edged heat began to build once more and Cassian found himself rapidly losing control. Nesta felt his muscles tightening again and if it was possible his cock seemed to harden even  _more_ , “I want you to come first this time,” she gasped and pumped her hips harder against his. She leaned down to whisper in his ear as she ground her pelvis into his, “ _Come inside me, mate_.”

The command- and most importantly that final word- was his undoing. Cassian’s wing curled up in a silent plea as he slammed into her one last time. Nesta took it in her mouth just as heat flooded her core. He roared her name as she continued to ride him, but the hand on her hip quickly shifted. Cassian’s muscles began to shudder at the blinding pleasure of his mate around his cock and her mouth upon his wing, and he threw that shaking into the thumb he pressed against the bundle of nerves between Nesta’s legs.

Cassian roaring her name as he came inside her, the pounding, shuddering pulse of his finger on her knot, and the entirely new sensation of even  _having_  her mate fill her sent Nesta careening over the edge with her loudest scream yet. Her body stopped being her own. Lightning exploded beneath her skin, radiating out from where Cassian was connected to her. He cried out as her walls clamped down on him and white-hot pleasure ripped through both hard enough to take their breath away.

In the epicenter of that explosion was an unspoken question- an offer that would never go away. Nesta could see Cassian beneath her, but in that blinding light she  _felt_  Cassian waiting, wondering,  _wanting_. She reached for him as her body shook and shuddered, but that presence she knew as Cassian stepped back. Her pounding heart brightened at the smile he wore. She knew even in that moment what very nearly happened, what  _he_  stopped.

Nesta slowed as her orgasm subsided and she joined Cassian in gulping down as much air as she could fit into her burning lungs. Her body trembled, she released his wing from her mouth, and slumped forward to collapse onto his chest. Cassian held her tight against him.

“I love you,” she whispered, shaking.

“I love you too,” he brushed her hair up to rest across his neck- smothering him in her scent while they both recovered from the unprecedented strength of their release. Cassian kissed the top of her head and gently rubbed her sweat-slick back.

“Thank you. Not just for this-“ Nesta managed to summon the strength to roll her hips, “-but for stopping it.”

His fingers hesitated in their tracing path up and down her back, “Nesta, I want you as my mate and bride- I didn’t even know how badly I wanted it before tonight. I love you, and I will love you until the end of time itself… but I don’t want to mate until we are ready- until we are  _both_  ready- to love openly. Rhys and Feyre made no secret of how they felt about one another before they were mated, I want the same thing.”

Cassian’s words were laced with fear. He was scared of how she would receive them, how she might take his rejection of the mating bond- what sat at the epicenter as they came together. It was the choice he stopped her from making, even though he desperately wanted to bind his soul to hers the moment he realized what was happening. Nesta would never have regretted becoming his mate, but she would have  _always_  regretted making the decision so quickly.

“You’re right,” Nesta murmured into his chest. She tipped her head up to meet his surprised eyes, “I love you,” she said it again just because she could, because she had been saying it  _without_  saying it ever since she  _met_  Cassian and caught a glimpse of what he might one day mean to her. Those three words had been hidden on the tip of her barbed tongue- and concealed in the sharp bite of his- since before they were mates, since before the mating bond even existed. Maybe when the Cauldron forged her and she took her pound of flesh from it  _she_  was the one who created the bond, her way of claiming what fate owed her.

“No more hiding.” She promised, “No more secrets.”

“When we mate, there’s somewhere I want to take you,” Cassian smiled, “a cabin where we can have as much privacy as we need. When Fae mate- let’s just say Feyre and Rhys have  _mellowed_ , and they can still hardly go ten minutes in a row without needing us to leave the room.”

“Compared to what we just did-“ Nesta’s body was already recovering, and she could feel Cassian stiffening inside her as he imagined what their mating would be like.

“It won’t compare,” he promised with a grin.

“Give me an idea.”

They spent most of the night in that bed, edging closer and closer towards the mating bond before pulling away. It wasn’t enough- and they knew it never would be. The feeling of Cassian inside her- even when it set off phantom twinges of pain from whatever remained of her maidenhead- was the greatest pleasure Nesta had ever known. The taste of him in her mouth, the scent of him in and around her- it was intoxicating in a way she didn’t know was possible.

At one point, when Nesta ran her hands along the edge of Cassian’s wings and erupted once more with their mutual release, she realized what had happened that afternoon- or was finally willing to admit it to herself. When Nesta slid into that tub and hooked her fingers between her legs, Cassian had been in the room above her, thinking about what it would feel like if she took his cock in her small, delicate hand. They were alone, separate, but the mating bond had drawn them together the same way it did now.

When she voiced her suspicions to him, he only grinned and said, “Now  _that_  could come in handy.”

Three days passed. Three glorious days.

They did more than simply bed one another- though with Cassian’s endless array of positions it was anything but simple. Even just sleeping with her head on his chest was something new and unexplored. Going a full day without more than harmless teasing was a revelation to the two. They still argued and fought, but it was a small fight easily forgiven…

And Cassian  _might_  have had a hand in pushing their disagreement further so that Nesta could have another new experience- make-up sex.  _Both_  of them enjoyed that one immensely.

When three days were over, Cassian roused Nesta just before dawn with his tongue between her legs. He brought her moaning to consciousness. She returned the favor and- with the clock edging closer to the end of the Court of Nightmares visit- they were forced to part. Cassian’s syphons reappeared and he sent a steady breeze through the house to waft away most of their scent. Nesta’s sheets and clothes went into the laundry, and both went to very separate bathrooms to clean up.

‘No more secrets’ did not necessarily mean they wanted to rub everyone’s noses in what they spent their three days on. They were respectful, civilized- and they’d been subjected to Feyre and Rhys’ not-so-subtle mating long enough to know what was annoying.

At the toll of eight o’clock in the morning, Cassian and Nesta were in the dining room, setting out plates of hot food for their family’s return. Azriel, Mor, Amren, Lucien, Elain, Rhysand, and Feyre strolled in together, laughing and joking. They filtered into the dining room, everyone grabbing their food unceremoniously. Cassian noted with a smirk that Rhys took a handful of bacon and sat far from him.

“How did the visit go? Sounded all quiet on this end of town.” Cassian spared a glance to Mor.  If anything bad had happened, she would be the first to show signs of strain.

Instead, she looked confused- the kind of confusion that was a little  _too_  innocent to be real, “What visit?”

“The Court of Nightmares?” Nesta said softly. She was determined to try and make friends. She smiled as pleasantly as she could, “Everything went well?”

As confused as Mor, Lucien, and Elain looked, Amren and Feyre shared a look of bemusement. Rhysand and Azriel were trying (and failing) to contain their giggles.

Elain looked over at Lucien innocently, “I thought the visit was  _next_ week?”

“It is.” Rhysand’s grin was predatory as he took a long drink of his coffee. His eyes were fixed on Cassian, even as Feyre flashed a twin look to Nesta, “You’re welcome.”

Amren leaned over to sniff delicately at the girl beside her, “Not mated,” she declared.

Rhysand kept his gaze locked on Cassian as he held out a hand. Grumbling, Mor, Feyre, Azriel, Lucien, and Amren piled coins into his waiting palm. When they were done, he turned and passed the money to the winner of their wager-

Elain.


End file.
